Faith is the absence of fear. They say you can't have fear if you are full of faith. Well, it's hard to have faith when I'm full of fear! Fear that I am going to be alone, fear that I am not going to have enough money, fear that my children will forget me. Fear, fear, fear. The Big Book says that fear is the chief activator of all our defects. Self-centered fear that makes me angry. The opposite must be God-centered faith.
In the beginning I was willing to believe in a higher power. After a while in AA, my belief turned to faith. I began to see miracles occur left and right, all because people weren't drinking and they were attending meetings and getting better, right before my eyes. I had little faith in myself, mostly worry. But I had the beginnings of a faith that worked. I saw that a stated faith that everything was working out for my highest good was a good start -- even if I sometimes doubted whether that was true. So I acted as if by pretending I was a man of faith. What would a man of faith do in this situation? That helped me.
Today I read in the Big Book: "We asked ourselves why we had fears. Wasn't it because self-reliance had failed us?" So I need to rely on God for everything, for comfort, for hope, for faith. Relying only on myself is a dead-end. So today I pray that God increase my faith so that I may have an abundance of courage and hope not only for me but for others.
I see today that God's will for me is more interesting and vital and joyous than anything I could imagine for myself. I feel that he is shining his light upon me that I may awaken his love in others. And that puts a smile on my face, a spring in my step, and joy in my heart.
That's what happens when you have a little faith, and you water it with prayer, meditation, and meetings. It grows into a big faith.